Isn't everyone?
Work has been nuts and I take care of an alzheimer Momma after I am done with my daytime job. I do all the things a mom does. I worry, I fret, I hope I'm doing a good job and I'm grateful for the opportunity.
The last few weeks, I'm trying to learn sailing terms, knots and hope that I don't get seasick. Getting ready to go out of town is a huge ordeal at my house!
And this trip is really special. It's close to my heart. And I know that my mom would be really proud. I'm facing my fear and everyday feels good about that. She was such a source of strength for me when I first lost John.
I'm scared to death to tell my Mother in Law, John's mom. Like me, she hasn't been on boats - I don't think she's gone out at all since John's death. Hey, I just ventured out within the last 2 years on a sailboat and kayak. Previously, all ferry rides; and the one time I got into a lake to swim, I had a panic attack.
Where did 19years go? Why am I not a better success than I am?
How can I change that?
Oh yeah, this is part of that journey. Not being afraid of boats anymore.
If I can face this, my biggest fear of failing, then I can face letting go of things, downsizing both myself and my stuff, having new adventures, finish projects, and maybe, just maybe even give myself permission to be successful.
Life's busy!
It's grand. 
